A New Year again

Funny... I have heard that the older you get, that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you are to the end, the faster it seems to go. How true this is. I can't believe it's already 2011! My daughter will be ten this year, and my son, soon 3. Seems so unreal to even be a possibility, yet here we are. It has been a rough several months. I am cautiously optimistic about 2011. If I plan on it being an amazing year, it seems I very nearly end up disappointed. If I don't set too high of expectations, then when something good happens, it is a grande surprise, but in the end then I am not as disappointed. This comes into strict contradiction with the idea that we need to imagine the life we want to live, and that this positive way of thinking is the only way to bring to us those things we desire most in life. Love, health, financial security, friendship, inspiration... you name it. How can we attain these things without putting them out there into the universe in thought form?? And so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place it seems. What do I wish to accomplish this coming year... even this is unsure. I want to go back to school, as well as create inspired works of art. Eventually I want to open my own business, but this is more likely a long term goal... I need to learn the art of budgeting and planning. I want to accomplish sooo many things, but I find that often, I end up accomplishing none of the things I originally plan, because I am extremely indecisive, and can't focus on one thing for too long. As for the planning skills, I very very much lack them, and want to learn these skills so that I can REACH some of my goals, instead of just dream about them. I yearn greatly to get back to supreme involvement with my music, write a book, I don't know... just rambling I guess. God grant me the inspiration, the opportunities, and the wisdom to find my path, for it seems to allude me more often than not.